


We're Designed to be Disposable

by catrinahart



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Psychic Abilities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-25
Updated: 2018-01-25
Packaged: 2019-03-09 04:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13473933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catrinahart/pseuds/catrinahart
Summary: Harry is seven years old the first time that he sees him. He’s never had anything like this happen before. But he’s not completely surprised. For a while he had known that he was different. That he could see things others couldn’t.  But that didn’t really scare him. He was different and different was good.Harry sees Niall for the first time when he's seven years old and finds they're linked for life.





	We're Designed to be Disposable

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third contribution to the Fifty Drabbles about Niall and Harry. I do hope you enjoy!

Harry is seven years old the first time that he sees him. He’s never had anything like this happen before. But he’s not completely surprised. For a while he had known that he was _different_. That he could see things others couldn’t. At first he had tried to point it out to his mom or his sister, but he quickly learned that they couldn’t see everything he did. But that didn’t really scare him. He was different and different was good.

But _this_ , this was new. He hasn't experienced anything remotely like this before. He can still see his house, his living room, his mom sitting on the chair in the corner reading a book, but another image was overlaying his house.  He could see stone walls and a sofa, two chairs, and a warm fireplace with a fire burning. It isn’t his own house that he is seeing; it’s actually someone else’s.  

It takes him a minute to tune in to what’s around him, what he’s seeing is almost like a fuzzy telly screen. But if he focused he was be able to see things clearly, ignoring his own home and seeing this new one. As he focuses he can start to smell the wet air, and maybe stew? But now he also starts to hear- and all he can hear right now is shouting. It’s a man and a woman fighting but he can't see them. He can only hear them. Then he sees him. It’s a boy about his age, but a little smaller than him. He has his hands over his ears, hiding behind one of the chairs like he’s trying to make himself invisible.

When Harry finally meets his blue eyes, they are wide open in shock and he's shaking his head back and forth almost frantically.

"What are you doing here? You need to go!" he says removing his hands from his ears to speak before clapping them back over his ears and closing his eye tight when something breakable shatters in the other room.

Harry looks around because no one has ever talked to him before. There are times that he’s seen things or people that others haven’t, but nobody has ever seen him before. He’s always just a silent observer. But this boy, this pretty boy can. He can see him, and is talking to him.

He smiles, because that’s polite and he always does what his mom taught him to do. He walks over calmly, despite the noise coming from the other room. As he makes his way over he can make out a man and a woman fighting, but ignores them. He knows with certainty that the adults can’t see him. As he gets closer the other boy opens his eyes and looks up at him. He knows then, that he can see him too. This cute, small boy, with dark blonde almost brown hair and eyes as blue as the ocean he saw on vacation last year, this boy is special. Like him.

"Hi I'm Harry. What's your name?" the other boy doesn't respond so Harry leans over him, places his hands over the boys that are still over his ears and then moves his hands away and asks again. "Hi I'm Harry. Who are you?"

The other boy finally answers "' ‘m Niall but you can't be here, you have to go." He grabs him by the hand and it’s strange because it all feels so solid. They duck down hiding behind the furniture as the screaming gets louder. Then they both jump as something large shatters, it hits the wall, and some of the glass hits the floor where Niall had been hiding. But Harry just holds on tight to his hand squeezing it as they sneak out the back door. The closing of the heavy wood door helps to muffle the noise from inside the house.

Harry follows him all the way out to the fields in the back of his house as they stumble and lay down under a tree, far away from the house where they can’t hear anything. Harry doesn't know what else to do so he just starts talking to the other boy. He starts telling him about his sister and his mum, and his dog Spot who ate his shoes last week. He’s quiet at first but the more Harry talks the more that Niall starts to talk. He talks about his life in Ireland, how his mom and dad are fighting all the time and talking about divorce. Niall wishes they would hurry because they all love each other but his mum and da shouldn’t be married anymore. Harry echoes his own mother when he says “Don’t worry, everything will be ok.”

And Harry has no idea how, but he knows that he’s connected to Niall. They both sit up when Niall’s mom finally calls for him and then Harry blinks and he's back home. He’s in his own backyard, because apparently when he walked with Niall, he also walked to his own backyard. But he can't see Niall anymore, or  his house, his backyard, or anything. Everything he sees is his own and the only thing that he can hope is that the other boy is okay.

And he didn’t even get to say goodbye.

-

It doesn't happen again until he's 10. He's had so many weird things happen in the last three years. He’ll know things he shouldn’t, or knows what's happening before others do, or he’ll see something that he knows he's not supposed to, but it’s nothing like what happened with Niall the first time.

It  happens again when he’s grocery shopping with his mom, walking through the Tesco and before he knows it he's not there anymore. He's back with Niall. The other boy looks tired, pale and he is laying in a hospital room.

"Hey Harry,” the other boy is looking at him trying to be strong but there are tears in his bright blue eyes and Harry doesn't know what to do. So he walks forward and takes Niall's hand; he can feel the other boys skin warm under his.

“You remember me?” he asks softly not wanting to break the quiet of the hospital.

“Of course I do. You got me through a really bad day -that was the day my parents finally decided it was over...” he whispers. He pauses before he continues, taking a deep breath before continuing. “I’m getting ready for surgery.”

“Oh, what for?” Harry asks. Niall ends up telling him all about his tonsils and how they keep making him sick, and Harry listens and then tells him about everything that’s going on in his life and soon Niall’s bright blue eyes start to close. Harry can tell he's tired, but he’s fighting to stay awake. The surgery is very early and for a moment he wonders if Niall is in the same place as he is? He thought the boy was Irish. Is he even in the same time? What if Niall is from the future or he’s in the past?  How is he supposed to know?

“Tell me everything will be ok. The last time you told me that everything was.” Niall pleads sounding so desperately afraid that Harry’s eyes fill up with empathy.

“Everything will be ok.” He quietly whispers, “I'll see you again soon.” And Niall grasps his hand tight until he stops fighting and falls asleep.

When he blinks he's back with his mom. She looks at him gently, “Are you okay, honey?”

He nods and says, “I was just gone for a little bit. It was the same boy, Niall.”

She smiles “Did you help him?” His mother had started believing in him. She knows what happens and she calls it a gift. Harry has just started calling it weird.

“I think so.” Harry answers and his mom smiles and he know he's done something to make her proud.

-

Harry's 16 and he has become the epitome of every awkward teenager. His arms and legs are too big for his body and his hair is a curly floppy mess that he doesn't really know what to do with. On top of all that he’s just had his first date.

Now in theory first dates are supposed to be awkward, and a little strange, a learning experience, and he knows that because it’s something you've never done before. But he knows that something's different for him. He went to dinner and a movie with Taylor and it was a good time, but it wasn't a _great_ time. Because even though Taylor is amazing, beautiful, sweet, and kind, she isn't Nick. And he was all that Harry could think about. It wasn't that Harry didn't already know that he was different but to have it so thoroughly proven to him, well, he wasn't quite ready for that.

Now he's home, locked in his room and his heart is racing. It feels like he can't get the air into his lungs fast enough and his chest feels tight, so tight. Breathe, he just needs to calm down and breathe.

"Hiya, Harry," Harry snaps his head up and right there standing in front of his closed, _locked_ door is Niall. The other boy looks good, it has been a few years since he’s last seen him, back when Niall was in the hospital. He's older now, grown into his shoulders, wide and steady, but his waist and hips are trim and small.

Harry's still taller than him, but Niall is starting to catch up and his brown hair is bleached blonde. However his eyes are the same beautiful blue and his smile, even with braces on straightening teeth, is still the same.

"Hi, Ni,” the nickname rolls of his tongue easy and comfortable even though he's never used it before. "How are you? Why are you here?"

This is a first, the last two times Harry had been drawn to Niall but now Niall is _here_. It's weird because Niall is foggy almost transparent; like how you imagine a ghost would be; however when he walks toward him where he's sitting on the bed, he can hear his footsteps. Niall stops in front of him and he raises a hand up and runs it through his hair and it feels real- like he’s really here.

"I'm guessing... I'm here for you." He sits down on the bed next to Harry and Harry leans into him. He and Niall have some type of connection, he won't pretend to understand it but he knows it's there. He can sense it in the way Niall’s mere presence is calming him down. He can feel his heart coming back into a steady rhythm, his breath calming down from hyperventilating pants.

"I'm already different," Harry says, voice more calm than just a moment ago. He notices his hands coming up and fluttering in front of him, obviously nervous, so he clasps them together in his lap. "Psychic or whatever, but now I’m even _more_ so.  I’m weird.”

“What makes you weird? There’s nothing wrong with you Harry.” Niall’s hand is on his knee and it’s warm.  It gives him something to focus on.

“I think I like a guy.” Harry blurts out, but it’s okay because it’s Niall. “And that’s on top of _this_.”  He waves his hand around his head like it explains everything.

“You know neither of those things actually make you weird right?” Niall asks, but Harry just looks at him, eyes wide. “Am I weird?”

“The fact you’re here is a little strange.” Harry tells him, because it is. But Harry loves it, the instant connection- the feeling of being wrapped in a safety blanket- warm and secure.

“I don’t think they have a word for what I am.” Niall starts. He doesn’t make eye contact with Harry; instead he’s looking around his room. “The closest I can really come up with is that I’m an empath. I can feel people’s emotions, I can touch them and take away some of their physical pain, injuries even, help speed up the healing process.”

“That’s amazing.” Harry tells him.

“Does it make me weird?” Niall asks him, finally looking back at him.

“No.” Niall’s not weird at all- he’s amazing.

“I’ve kissed a boy before, does that make me weird?”

“No.”

“All we can ever be are the best versions of ourselves. That’s what my mum says. As long as you end the day proud of who you are…everything will be ok.” The last bit of that echoes what he has told Niall himself the past two times he saw him. Niall squeezes the hand that is still sitting on his knee, “So tell me about this boy and what’s going on.” And Harry does until his eyes fall closed. In the morning he wakes up and Niall’s gone and his moms knocking on his door for breakfast.

-

The next time he sees Niall it’s only a year later, after one of his best friends’ wake. He’s never understood suicide, never understood how taking your own life can sound like the only available option, and can’t understand how he didn’t know what was happening right in front of him. It was depression he was told, not your fault, no one saw it coming. But he should have known, _should have seen it_ , what’s a gift like this if he can’t help those closest to him.

He takes off his tie and he throws it at the mirror.  When he looks up,  Niall’s there. “Oh, pet.” and it’s like he already knows, walking right to him and wrapping his arms around him. And Harry cries and cries.

Niall shuffles both of them to the bed, holding Harry close as he cries out his pain, hurt, and confusion.

“I guess... we’re all designed to be disposable.” Disposable people, lives that can just be thrown away.  He understands more than ever the feeling of hopelessness now.

“No, pet, every living thing on this earth is special. We all _mean_ something, but sometimes people just get lost, and you can’t see everything..” Niall’s lying close to him; they’re tangled up on his bed, Harry clinging to him like he’s the only thing that matters. Niall’s here… Niall is always here when he needs him.

“I should have seen it. Why do I have this gift if I can’t help people?”  Why didn’t he _see_ this?  Why can he see so many other things, but not this?

“That’s not for you to decide.” And they’ve talked about this before, how they- themselves- can’t decide how to use their gifts or who they can _help._

Niall is with him every night for week straight, holding him while he cries himself to sleep. Harry’s never been so thankful for a friend.

-

Harry’s not really sure why, but he’s starting to figure this thing with Niall out. The next time he sees Niall he’s pulled to the hospital again and it’s because Niall’s brother’s wife just went into labor. Then he pulls Niall to him on graduation day. And it seems like for all their big life events, good and bad, they are there for each other.

He sees Niall the day he opens his bakery. Niall tells him he’s proud.

In the bakery, Harry meets Liam. A young police officer with warm brown eyes and Liam wants to do his part, he wants to help people.

Every day he comes in, orders a cup of coffee and eats one of his confections at the little coffee bar Harry has in his bakery. One day he’s there later than normal and Harry can’t help but ask.

“Everything ok?”  Liam is going through a file folder, he seems to be working on case, a missing girl, but there aren’t’ a lot of leads.

“Yeah, just work ya know?” Harry doesn’t mean to, even though he’s twenty two he’s still working to control his gift, can’t help but wonder if he ever really will. But as soon as he touches that file folder, he sees her; she’s tied to a chair, blonde hair hanging in her face, a vivid bruise on her cheek. He looks around; she’s in a warehouse. He already knows that she can’t see him; she’s looking right through him, frantic eyes searching for the clanging noise they are both now hearing. So he walks around looking for anything that might make a difference, but he can only see the things she has seen. He starts pushing the boundaries, walking towards the door, finds he can walk through it, look outside, and he knows where she is.

“Liam, this is going to sound crazy, but you need to look here. She’s there.” Harry writes down the street intersection and Liam gives him an odd look, but he grabs the note and rushes out the door.

He goes home more excited than he’s been in a long time. He’s making dinner when the sound of footsteps behind him warns him that there is someone behind him.

Niall is there, he looks tired, blonde hair growing out into brunette, he’s in wrinkled blue scrubs and white sneakers.

“Well you look excited.” He states and Harry can’t help but smile, because Niall being here shows how excited he really is.

“I am! I think I found a use for my gift.” Harry tells him and he turns off the burner to turn his attention to Niall. He launches into the story about Liam, how he’s a police office, and the case he’s working on. How he saw _something_ and how he thinks it helped.

“Just be careful, pet. People don’t always understand people like us. And as much as you want to help, you can’t control what you see and what you don’t… we are not disposable items and I don’t want you to be used like one.”  Niall’s words bring him down back down to Earth. “No, no, no, don’t look at me like that. I’m glad that you can help, Haz, I really am. Just please _be careful._ I worry about you.” Then he finds himself wrapped up in Niall’s hug. He smells chemicals?  Like bleach and cleansers-

“You don’t need to worry about me.” Harry tells him, bringing his arms up to wrap around the other boy. He loves Niall’s hugs, they’re the best.

“I always worry about you.” Niall whispers and then he’s gone. It's one of the things that Harry hates the most- he never gets to say goodbye.

The next day Liam doesn’t come in for coffee and Harry thinks its ok, because he’s sure that Liam saved the girl.  But in a way Niall was right, people don’t understand people like them and it shows with the number of friends that he has.

The next day is Saturday and the bakery is only open in the morning. He doesn’t expect to see Liam walk through the door, figured that their friendship was over now; it wouldn’t be the first time.

“Listen Harry, I don’t know how you did what you did, or how you knew… but I trust you man, and there was a reward on the case. You are now an anonymous informant.” He hands him an envelope and it’s full of notes. “There’s six thousand pounds in there. I’ll see you Monday.”

He sees Niall that night, tells him what happened, and Harry smiles when Niall understands, “Your gift can help people Harry.” Niall’s in blue scrubs again and Harry finally asks him what he’s does for work. Knows he was accepted to college, he was pulled to him when he got the acceptance letter. It’s amazing how much he knows about Niall without _knowing_ Niall. How much he loves Niall without ever actually having _seen_ him.

And it’s strange because he knows that Niall loves him too. It’s undeniable. They have been with each other through the biggest events of their lives. But he’s always so scared to ask, _where are you_? Is Niall still in Ireland, or is he somewhere else? They seem to be on the same time schedule. Maybe he’s closer than he thinks?

“I’m still in training to be an A&E doctor. I’m in the clinical years of my degree. But please remember what I said. Be careful Harry, ok?  It could be dangerous.”

“Always. Everything will be ok, Ni, you’ll see.” Because when they say it, it’s true.

-

It’s the sixth case that he’s helping on. Liam doesn’t always ask for his help, doesn’t like to ask for his help, Harry’s noticed. Liam is a good man and he doesn’t judge Harry on when he can and can’t help. But he and his partner Louis are here every other morning, because teenagers are getting kidnapped and dying, and Harry just can’t stand by. They’ve pulled in profilers, and people with dogs, and “legitimate” psychics to help, but Liam, he only trusts Harry. Three times they’ve gotten close to the guy, but they missed him by minutes.   

Harry wonders if the killer is like him. If the killer has a gift somehow too. Niall’s words ring in his head daily  ‘ _be careful.’_ And he is…he tries. For Niall he will _always_ try.

The last thing Harry expects is for the killer to find him. To walk right into his bakery after the morning rush without a word, barely aim, shoot his gun, then turn and walk out.

He barely registers the door opening; when he looks up from the counter that he’s cleaning, he hears a _bang_ and then hears static, all he feels is pain, an explosion through his chest. He falls to the floor, as the shooter turns right back around and leaves. Neither of them saying a word.

The only thing he can think is, _I have cameras. They know what you look like now_ . Somehow the killer must have linked the close encounters with Liam and Louis and that the two of them are regulars at his bakery. Or maybe he was right- and the killer is like him… _gifted._   

He’s not surprised to see Niall next to him. He’s in his scrubs, “Hey Harry,” his voice is loud, “Look at me, look at me!” He sounds flustered, worried, and Harry knows that’s not good. Not much worries Niall.

“Ni, it hurts.” It hurts everywhere and it hurts to talk.

“I know pet, I know. Listen, where are you?” His hands are on his face, combing back his hair, tilting his head so he’s looking at Niall.

“My bakery,” He coughs and it hurts in his chest.

“Address, babe, I’ll call it in.” Harry rattles off the address, and Niall’s eyes widen, he thinks he hears him say, “So god damn close, we’ve been so fucking close this entire time.” He’s pressing down on Harry’s chest and it hurts. Then he brings Harry’s hands up to press on his own chest as he pulls away. “You need to let me go for a minute, just a minute, and then I’ll come right back ok?.” Harry nods, focuses his mind, tries to focus on letting Niall go, sending him away, when all he wants is for him to stay.

It feels like hours that he lays staring at the ceiling, but it’s only a minute until he’s back, hands back on his chest, moving Harry’s away. He balls up Harry’s apron and presses it to the wound; it makes Harry scream with pain. “I’m sorry. I need to put pressure on it, pet.”

“I like it when you call me pet.” Harry huffs, looking up at Niall, he can feel his own tears, they are falling down the sides of his cheeks running into his hair. “Am I going to die?” Niall’s eyes look so wide, blue, and terrified when he looks down at him. Harry can finally hear the ambulance, the sirens calling to him, telling him they’re coming, telling him he needs to hang on.

“No, you aren’t going to die. Ask for Kings College Emergency, ok? Please, just ask.” And Harry is nodding, even while Niall is disappearing and the medics are rushing in the door.  He passes along Niall’s demand right before he passes out.

-

When he wakes, he thinks he’s still in the emergency room. His mom is sleeping in a chair and Niall; his beautiful angel Niall; is walking through his door. He looks different now. Harry just blinks owlishly at him as he walks forward to the bed.

“Niall.”

“Hi Harry,” It’s then that Harry realizes, Niall’s not foggy. He’s solid. _He’s here!_ He goes to push himself up, but ends up crying out from the pain that is radiating from his chest, or really his shoulder. “Hey, hey, hey now, the beds move for you, here.” He smiles gently, and then pushes the button on the bed helping him sit up.

“You’re here!” Harry reaches up a hand, touching his face, he can feel the stubble under his fingertips.

“I feel like I should be saying that.” Niall smiles a soft smile, pressing Harry’s hand against his cheek, kissing his palm.

“You look tired. Did you, did you…do your thing?” Harry doesn’t really know how to ask, but he knows that he should feel worse than he does. His connection to Niall feels stronger.

“I did, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stand seeing you in pain. I have my gift for a reason too. Pretty sure the only reason is you. ”

“You’re here, you’re really here.” And Harry can’t really explain how he feels other than joy, like the last piece of his puzzle has been put in place and now he can be happy, _really happy._ He doesn’t even realize that he’s crying until Niall sits down on the edge of his bed and uses his other hand to wipe his tears.

“Oh, pet, I’m here, right here with you. Never leaving you again.” Harry knows already that he and Niall are connected for life; he doesn’t even pause in thinking really, just reaches up and kisses Niall straight on the lips. It warm and it feels like coming home. They’re smiling when they pull apart.

“I feel like I’ve been waiting for this since I was seven years old.” Harry whispers and Niall presses Harry back down to the bed so he can relax, then presses his forehead against Harry’s.

“I know the feeling. Too bad you had to get shot to make it happen.” Niall whispers back to him, the words are soft, pressing them into his lips.

Harry laughs; then coughs because it still hurts. “I didn’t mean to.” He pouts exaggeratingly doing his best to make it playful, it’s harder to do than he thought with the pain radiating in his chest.

“I did tell you to be careful.” Niall smiles gently at him, his hand still holding his tight.

“I know, but you’re _here,_ and I love you and everything will be ok.” Harry murmurs to him. He can’t stop touching him, knowing Niall is present and _here_ and not just in his head. Niall kisses him and just echoes right back.

“Ah pet, I love you too. So much,” It’s enforced with a kiss to his forehead, “And yes, everything will be ok.”  Because when they say it, it’s true.

-

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! Comments and Kudos are very much appreciated (and coveted). 
> 
> If you would prefer stop over on tumblr and say [Hello!](https://catrinahartsnarry.tumblr.com/)


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